Written by Pants

Our visitors to Sherburd Park this week were the men of Glen Huon who, like us, had started off with some mixed results to date.  Our source of motivation for the day was the anniversary of the birth of two of the Sharks finest exponents, Nathan Walton and Luke Barlow.  With this in mind we were determined to have a good day.

Surely, with birthdays about, Captain Hevey could have delivered a successful coin toss and given us the opportunity to bat…………..nope.
So into the field we went with Kerr and Barlow taking the new pill.  The reason for the new opening combo was that the incumbent uphill opener, Josh "Master Bates" Swindells, was out on the high seas of the Derwent plying his trade as apprentice engineer on the good ship Lollypop.  Later that evening Josh informed us that so intense was the sun during the day that his beetroot red face required an application of his girlfriends foundation makeup to ensure he looked the goods for the circuit that night.  Did anyone say metrosexual?

Back to the cricket.  A bit of feeling crept into the game early when a cracking pull shot to the boundary followed by a drive that was saved by the bowler was hurled back at the stumps.  Banter ensued, who represented the biggest self pleasurer was debated, and the game continued on its merry way.
The first wicket fell to the man with the self pleasuring name, Wayne Kerr, when a shortish ball was fired down the legside and brushed the glove on the way through to captain Hevey.  Wayne assured the boys that it was all part of the plan!

At this point it all becomes a bit of a blur.  Birthday Barlow, fresh off his deathbed with a bad case of tuberculosis, sent down a mesmerising spell of 10 overs that netted him 6 wickets for the bargain basement price of 28 runs.  Catches to Hevey, new recruit Warren Iles, one handed Kerr and Papa Pants were all put to shame by the swinging, cutting, dipping delivery that crashed into middle stump, sending the batsmen on his way and plunging Glen Huon into major trouble.  Great credit also must be given to Wayne who created great pressure in completing 10 overs for 14 miserly runs and picking up two scalps for his own collection
A match winning opening bowling partnership that had netted 8 wickets in 20 overs and put us well in control.

The ball was then wrapped up and tied with a ribbon before being presented to Nathan "Tommy Lee" Walton as a gift for his 20th birthday.  So generous was the batsmen feeling that he placed Tommy's first ball (a full toss outside off stump) onto the chest of the old bloke at mid off, 9 in the sheds.  Happy Birthday Wal.  Steroid munching He-Man, Tim Polmear sent down three balls from the other end before getting a faint tickle through to Heves and closing the innings.  Glen Huon dismissed for 45, joining the Snug side of 03/04 (just for you Bradley), as the lowest total that the BBDCC A grade side had bowled out their opposition for in one day cricket.
To the Vikings credit they took to the field breathing fire with the bowlers worked up and determined to take a wicket or three, as well as inflict a bruise here and there.  The fielders were also involved.............banter ensued.  Heves fell in the first over to a hook shot that didn't travel quite as far as he'd hoped, gone for a duck and stretching his lead to go back to back.  The chemist then rammed his nose inside a helmet and looked solid as a rock at the crease, determined that no bowler would take his wicket..............and he was right.  Morgs ran himself out going for a second that was more than a little doubtful.
Making his A grade debut, Andrew Baron squirelled a run or two before chasing a wide one a edging through to the keeper.  During all of this TMac remained calm and poised as he collected 22no and, along with PJ, saw us home for a big win.

With the heat of the battle left on the field some cleansing ales were opened and consumed with the remaining Glen Huon boys and tall tales of painting red spheres and favourite opposition players were told before we all piled in a car and headed down to see Adam "I was on my way to training and must have taken a wrong turn and ended up at Kettering" Clydesdale take the field against his old club.  NO BALL!
Nocturnal Birthday celebrations were organised by Nathan Walton who had us all out at the Republic watching one of his musical picks for the future, Behind Crimson Eyes.  Swindells in the lemon t-shirt and makeup (and were not talking the black eye stuff) struggled to get into it, although one bloke standing in the corner near the toilets seemed to be more interested in Josh than the band.  Come to think of it, TP was pretty frisky as well!
With Az and Wal in the thick of the action it was left to the other boys to note that Wayne Kerr's black haired twin was playing the skins, right down to the English tan.  PJ also spotted a Warren Iles look alike bouncing around in the mosh!  If only they knew Waz back in the day.

With the "metro" crowd heading down to bust some moves on the dance floor (and Josh going to the bathroom to do a touch up) the days festivities were bought to a close.