Round 1 V Slab Road 18/10/2008

Written by The Great Pantaloon

Well, here we are with a new schmicko looking website for the BBDCC match reporters to ply their trade and offer their observations on the performances of the mighty men of Blackmans Bay.

Shame we have to start out with a dud effort, but I have been criticised by my audience (g’day Nick Olas, I haven’t forgotten you) for not providing timely reports after losses.  Wouldn’t want to upset the fans at the Snug online centre.

The day started very early with the A grade team gathering at SUBWAY in Kingston.  Fabulous culinary delights worthy of attention in the larousse gastronomique were on offer in this magnificent establishment that cannot be recommended highly enough.  One can only say, eat fresh and eat footlong.

The Sharks version of Nathan Brown, Josh Swindells packed the wombats (his pet name for his massive Gluteus) into the ute and travelled down from Launceston that morning to join us. Once in Kingston he sauntered off for a long macchiato before a quick trip in for a pedicure and an eyebrow tint to prepare him for round one.  With our stomachs full and Swindells dressed for a cameo in Sex and the City we completed the pleasant drive down to Cygnet and warmed up for our first hit out of 08/09.

Heves lost the toss on a damp and very long outfield and our opening combo Barlow and O’Brien were padded up and sent in.  Predicably the going was slow as the humidity rose and the outfield grew longer by the minute as shots that may have reached the boundary in January were reduced to well struck singles.  Our first wicket fell when SOB tickled one through to the keeper after adding a solitary single to his account for the day.

Barlow was joined by Michael Knight who had to use the razor sharp spine of his new bat to machete his way to the crease as the outfield had grown a full 8 inches since we arrived at the ground.  As Barlow began to build a couple of clean strikes off the willow were made before he lost his stumps attempting a lusty drive thus bringing Hevey to the crease.  From this point on the highlights were few for the Sharks, losing wickets regularly and failing to build any partnerships, with only Pants (10) and Barlow (21) reaching double figures but failing to go on with the job.

The only moment of note in this massive middle order collapse was the debut of one Dale Wickham, making his way to the crease with the aid of a flame thrower to burn his way through the thicket.  Bought to the crease at the fall of PJ’s wicket young Dale joined young Damien at the crease.  His innings consisted of a couple of plays and misses, magnificent French cut and a few comments on the relative merit of sight screens.  Then, his big moment.  With young Tom Nicholls digging in a short one Dale hitched up his skirt, squealed like a lady man and popped his gloves up in front of his face to protect his good looks.  With a sense of inevitability the ball ballooned off the gloves and into the hands of Daniel Watson, out for three.

At 9 down and in massive trouble a valiant effort by Ben Harrison (16no) and Josh Swindells (11) helped us put some small degree of respectability back in the score line and gave us a total to bowl at. A simple method was devised by the lower order pair consisting of striking the ball into what had become an Amazonian jungle and running feverishly as the Slab fielders searched the growth for the white Kookaburra.  During this period Ben became alarmed when he though he spotted a small bearded Amazonian Native hiding amongst the primeval forest, but it was just Ijaz at cover.

Good work there Ben there, out on that front stool there Ben, good lad.

Slab sent out their aggressive opening batsmen who wasted no time in swinging the willow and getting away to a good start, although Barlow always looked close to getting a wicket early on whilst the best Pants could do was throw his hat and kick the turf (is he 33 or 3?).  First change duties went to Michael’s Big Brown Beaver (M Knight) and the Cheeks of the North (J Swindells) who got us back into the contest.  Swindells picked up Daniel Watson for the twelfth time whilst Knight disturbed the castle of the other opener.  Slab’s skipper fell to Swindells (2/29), driving a ball in the air to Luke at cover before Brad Watson picked out Tmac at mid off from the bowling of Knight (2/24).

This was where our charge ended.  Despite a couple of close appeals we could not keep the momentum going and Slab Road passed our meagre total after taking 12 runs of four of PJ’s mesmerising deliveries to kill the contest at take the four points.  Not a great start, but there’s always next week.